“And he said, “The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground. He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how.” Mark 4:26-27
Sometimes I overly obsess about saying the right thing. I’m usually second-guessing and over-analyzing the words that come out of my mouth. I don’t want to get it wrong. I don’t want to mess up, and I don’t want the condemning feeling of failure to seep in if I do. So, the fear of saying something the wrong way often causes me to say nothing at all.
I have felt this obsessive worry creep its way into my mind a lot over the course of the past few months, but it hit me the heaviest one afternoon last August.
I was preparing for a submission opportunity for a magazine called The Truly Co. They were looking for writers for their upcoming issue, and since I wanted to pursue new writing opportunities, I decided to inquire about the submission process.
I knew right away what I wanted to write about. God had actually been preparing my heart for it for some time, but I continued to second-guess myself. The fear of failure fought its way back into my mind until it paralyzed me. Each contemplating thought led to another day of me not opening my computer to write. Finally, the submission date arrived, and I had yet to prepare one word.
I sat down that morning thinking I would knock it out, but instead, brain fog and self-doubt set in. By mid-afternoon I texted a few friends and asked them to pray for clarity for me. I had spent the day over-analyzing and over-obsessing every word I tried to write, and by 11:30pm I realized there was no way I would meet the submission deadline, so I succumbed to the defeat, closed my computer, and went to bed.
That night I had a dream.
I dreamed I was standing in the middle of a recently plowed field with fresh dirt under my feet. As I looked down, I noticed both of my hands were being filled with seeds–so much so that the seeds, piling up like an hourglass, began to spill onto the ground. Frantically, I tried to keep the seeds contained in my hands, afraid of them falling somewhere they weren’t supposed to land. And in my panic to keep the seeds in my hands, it felt like I could hear God’s voice say, "It's not your job to determine where the seeds fall. I determine where they fall and how they grow. Your job is just to let them fall.”
I woke up from that dream with a renewed sense of awareness. The way I had previously worried about how I would get the words out didn’t seem as important as just getting them out.
I sat down that morning determined to finish the article. I had no idea where the article would end up–that didn’t matter. I knew that was in God’s hands. My job was just to write.
I finished the article about midday and, out of curiosity, went to The Truly Co’s website to check if they were still accepting submissions. Submissions were open!
Needless to say, I decided to put it in God’s hands as I submitted the article and waited to hear back from the Publisher. A few weeks later, I got an email that made my heart burst–my article had been accepted for publication!
I share this because I want to encourage you. I know how hard it can be to share God’s Word with others. I know what it’s like to over-analyze and second-guess the things we feel called to do, but friend, I want to remind you that we aren’t called because we can do it perfectly. We’re called because, despite our shortcomings, we serve a perfect God—a God that sprouts and grows seeds we have no control over growing.
Next time you find yourself obsessing over saying the right thing, worrying about getting it wrong, or fearing what others may think, choose to just share Jesus. Let the seeds fall and leave the outcome up to Him. He will accomplish what He has purposed.
Isaiah 55:10-11:
“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it."
-Brittany
About Brittany:
Owner and Founder of Living Truth Collective, Brittany Tate, has a sincere passion for equipping women in God’s Truth. She has mentored women for years while working at a Crisis Pregnancy Center, has served on the Women’s Ministry team at her church, and hand-crafts jewelry for Living Truth Collective. Her passion for biblical studies and psychology led her to pursue a Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Liberty University and she can now proudly say she is a published author with The Truly Co Magazine!
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